I see so many of the people I look up to as great writers, follow others and comment on their writings. I wanted to know whom do you look to as great writers on this platform?
For the first time in my life, I have experienced major depression. I have had a lot of support from friends and family. I have approached my physician about it who without hesitation had prescribed something for me to me in a more sunny mindset.
About a month ago, I was feeling down for no apparent reason and I though it had to do with medications I was on or as a result of the temporary painkillers I was on following my most recent hospitalization. But through eliminating possibilities and speaking with my physician, it probably had nothing to do with it. He said it was probably family history and my age.
My Dad had depression and even some loss of emotional control. So it was natural to experience some of the same. I spoke to a friend, Sarah, who is also a registered nurse. She backed up my physician’s assessment and did something my physician didn’t. She put it into perspective. It seemed Sarah really wanted to put my mind at ease about the stigmas of mental health and cited some experience with it herself. So I will get back on the meds, a small amount of citalopram and get it back under control.
Over the years, I have heard phrases like “man up”, “deal with it and move on”, “ compartmentalize”. These phrases minimize and negate what someone is going through and makes one feel like they are wrong for feeling what they are feeling. I am here to tell you, there is nothing wrong with feeling this way. But don’t suffer in silence. Tell someone you trust and tell your healthcare provider. Get the help you deserve and need. Don’t let anyone make you feel less than a man for feeling this way!! Having depression does not make you any less a man and asking for help doesn’t either.
This may be a temporary situation, but maybe not. So managing it and being there for my family is the right way to deal with it.
Thank you again to all of those who have supported me and made me see there is absolutely nothing wrong with experiencing mental illness. Sarah said something that stuck with me. “If you get the flu, don’t you see a doctor to make it better?” “Absolutely” I said. “So why wouldn’t you do the same for mental illness?” My friend was absolutely correct.
SAMHSA’s National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.
The Substance Abuse and Mental Heath Services Administration provides 7 day a week/ 24 hours a day care for anyone in a mental health crisis.
Lucas had been talking to Susan for weeks. They met online and had been texting back and forth. She was local and experienced in the scene while his experience was academic. This was a fact about himself she didn’t know and a fact he didn’t share in the chats Lucas had with the local females he wanted as potential play partners. His opinion was, if they asked, he would not lie. But if they did not ask, he would not tell. And he had a good knowledge, so they never asked.
He already knew Susan liked to be spanked and this is what drew Lucas’ attention. Lucas is a spanko. From minimal academic experience he did have, he knew how to make a bottom sore.
Lucas had done extensive academic research and had befriended several folks who participate with their dynamic, both men and women. Lucas had discovered, however, that the women were far more forthcoming with the information Lucas was aching to learn. The women in his group were open books. Lucas learned almost all of the information he needed from the ladies. He received the answers to the questions he had but, he believed he could learn no more from their perspective . He believed he needed more men to talk to. So he befriended a few men in his online community and asked them if he had a question. They provided so much more information regarding rules, enforcement and reward. He also aches for more information about plans and how each dominant went about in managing their subordinate.
Almost possibly prematurely, Susan and Lucas met. They lived in the same town and this brings us to this morning.
Lucas woke and found he had the entire morning. He cleaned up the kitchen before heading out for the day. Lucas shot Susan a text on the chance she might have some time this morning. She in fact did and invited him to meet at her home on the other end of town. Lucas got into the car and as he drove, they agreed on a meeting time.
As Lucas pulled his car into the rear of the home as asked. Lucas got out of the car, approached and knocked on the back door. It was a ranch style home. Not large, but not small. As Susan opened the door, she smiled a huge, inviting smile and pulled Lucas into the office she worked in attached to the house. The office held a desk, the computer she worked on, and a bed.
This was in fact, her mothers home. Only a door separated us and the living space her mother inhabited.
Susan wrapped her arms around Lucas and squeezed. When she withdrew, she wasted little time and reconfirmed the agenda for their meeting. Lucas, because this was their first meeting, didn’t have any real expectation of her. So while he was hoping for some things to happen, he knew it was up to him to direct the agenda. He asked Susan to bend over the bed. A look of slight fear and resignation washed over her face as Susan turned and bent over. She committed a slight error in protocol as she pulled down her own pants. Lucas couldn’t remove his eyes from Susan’s globes as he ran his hand over them and began a hand spanking.
“We agreed, no pants for this, Ow!.. spanking?” Susan asked. “Yes” is all Lucas could say. As he watched this beautiful creature bent over in front of him, he was in shock. “I am spanking her!” Is all he could think!
This was a realization that hit him like a ton of bricks. He took admiration of her bum and rubbed it lightly.
The look of sheer bliss washed over Susan’s face as she accepted each enthusiastic blow with relish. Each smack landed squarely on her bottom and each assault sent shivers to places she hasn’t had in a very long time.
Before long, hand smacks stopped. Susan looked over her shoulder to see Lucas unbuckle his belt and hear the unmistakable sound of a thick leather strap being removed from its occupying loops. Susan put her head back down to the mattress and closed her eyes in fear and almost disbelief. But as the same time, she internally and gleefully anticipated the kiss of Lucas’ belt.
It seemed like eternity as she heard Lucas ask, “Are you ready?”. She kept her eyes closed and remained focused so she does not fall out of headspace.
The angry red wheats started to appear. Lucas was using all of his strength to make sure Susan would not sit down for a very long time and remember why they were there. Their meeting was not about breaking rules or anything related to the D/s relationship. They were there to lay waste to Susan’s backside. They were there to allow the experience for both Susan as the receiver or the treatment and Lucas as the inflictor. It was all about the experience.
Susan had had enough. Lucas checked in with her and she had had enough. Lucas was confident Susan had had an orgasm while bent over the bed. There was a stain on the sheets on the edge of the bed and a puddle on the tile floor.
“Put it in” Susan said. Susan was asking for sex. Lucas almost didn’t hear what she said so quietly. While Lucas wanted to, he wasn’t prepared. He definitely didn’t expect and spanking, so he definitely didn’t expect sex. All people are different and some spankos like sex after a spanking. Susan pulled a condom from under the pillow and handed it to Lucas. Lucas slipped into the condom and in no time they were both cumming.
After Susan stood up, she emotionally crashed. The tears stared to cascade down her cheeks and Lucas, the learned spanko he was, both expected emotional cataplexy but knew how to care for her in the midst of it. Lucas held her, rubbed her back and verbally reassured her. She recovered quite quickly and was amazed how well Lucas executed aftercare. They both showered, Lucas dressed and said his goodbyes. Susan thanked him for his expert care. Lucas could only welcome her and mentally thank those submissives he had been talking to for almost a year before he decided it was time. Deana, Nora, Michael and a few others were credit for teaching him how to apply theory into practice. It was they Lucas needed to be thanking. Lucas was only following what his subby friends had taught him, what they, themselves needed and demanded as subordinates in a world where the real power lies with the sub. She follows instruction, but she directs where that Top takes her or him.
A kiss on the cheek, and a click of the door was the last Susan saw of Lucas that day. A text followed within an hour to ensure Lucas returned home safely. He had, and they both were making plans for the next time.