I have been in a depressive mood for three or four weeks now. It has little to do with anything I know of. I wake up in this mood, it goes away slightly when I would work because I am distracted. But when I came home, and distraction goes away, the depression comes back.
There’s no reason!
So I try and write in this state and nothing I put on paper is sufficient for my purposes. I haven’t dealt with this in years. I usually pop a pill and it stays at bay. I just want to break down. It’s that bad. But I can’t do that at work. I can’t do that in front of my family. I can’t just cry for no reason in public. That’s not what men do. Right?
So I lean on my wife. I talk to her and it does help a little. This is four weeks now. She needs my help so I have to operate as a husband and as a father nonetheless.
She doesn’t know what to do. She pats my shoulder and hope it passes. It waxes and wanes. Comes and goes. And it sucks. So when this passes, I’ll be back here. I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade and I definitely don’t want to make anyone else feel like they need to help. It’ll pass. Like it used to.