Some of my writings are NSFW. Fair warning. I write about my life, my love and the things that interest me. Please feel free to comment, ask questions or simply agree or disagree with my points of view. They are welcome. Thank you for reading.
When the Covid 19 epidemic is over, we need to celebrate a profession and honor of all teachers who have done their unprecedented best to make learning a positive experience for all the poor children. Teaches have historically been underappreciated and I think in the face of this pandemic, that statement never has been more true.
Rachel Nania, a reporter for WTOP in Washington wrote a article two years ago about how kids have a five to eight time greater chance of experiencing clinical depression as a result of the normal stresses they deal with on the daily. If she thought they were stressed then, what would she think now?
Think about how hard going to school was for some of us. Not only are they dealing with the normal pressures of social stigmas, making the grade but they are doing it under the constant threat of a pandemic. It’s a wonder these kids are learning anything. Those are the kids who are in class. We hand our children over to teachers under these conditions and expect, no demand our children perform under these conditions. There are some schools not even in session in some states. Yes, many people are doing their hardest work they have ever done. I know they are. I am one of them. But I had to shed some light. We are not back to business as usual. Social distancing is impossible. They are short staffed and some, covering classes they have never taught before for other teachers that are out due to Covid. It’s a mess. But, my kids at least are learning in the direct face of this mess we call a pandemic. Good on ya, people. Teachers Rock. You at least look like you are having a good time while doing this. I know its hard.
We need to party like it’s 1999 when all of this is over.
I wake my son up every morning for school. It has been established long ago I would take care of getting my son ready for school while my wife readies herself for work. No problem. I am the Dad, I can do this. I bring her morning coffee every morning and on occasion, even prepare her lunch for her, because I Have The Time.
I work until 9pm many nights during the week. This means I am not home many a night to make sure my son is ready for the preceding day. Brushing his teeth, getting a shower, getting his uniform ready for the next day, these are the activities he needs reminding to do. So, I address it with him. I also address it with my wife as she is home and she, Has The Time.
She not only resists my requests like an impudent child, but resents my reminding her or making the request of her at all. I understand this as she has a hard head and this requisition implies she is slacking off, when she is slacking off. I know she knows what needs to be done. The events of the evening are burned into the back of her eyelids. She taught me how to be a decent parent. She has taught me most everything I know about raising children.
I am not talking down to her, using an out of the ordinary tone, not yelling. I am simply stating the boy needs a shower, and is at an age where if he is not told to take a shower will go a week without taking one. I have addressed this with him again.
So what do I do? I am the head of my household and as such if I see the need to remind my wife to do something, I should be able to do so. She has no problem reminding me to do things that need to be done. Do I get upset? No. I actually appreciate the teamwork, that I might add benefits the kids. The communication, also appreciated by me. There are households that would require the wife to implicitly take care of these tasks. I share them with my wife, as I feel , she has had help in creating the children also should have help raising them.
But to get a look of resentment and pure disrespect? I don’t think I deserve that. God tells me to love my wife. Ephesians Chspter 5:25 Husbands, love your wives,(A) just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her(B)26 to make her holy,(C) cleansing[a] her by the washing(D) with water through the word,
I love her to the best of my ability. I am told God tells her to respect me.
Ephesians 5:22-33New International Version
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands(A) as you do to the Lord.(B)23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church,(C) his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands(D) in everything.
Respect as head of household and as her husband. I think some refreshing is in order Sunday. But that’s just me. I think a lot more is in order but this is not the 1950s and spanking is not something we practice in this marriage.
So what have we learned in the now decades together. Compromise, communication and understanding are the keys to opening hearts and minds.
Not talking about it will only drive us to bury feelings, creating misunderstanding and promoting feelings of distrust and resentment. So who is going to be the adult and bring it up? Usually this is me. Why am I putting private moments out there like this? That’s what I do. I write about it. Are all views accurate to the best of my understanding? Absolutely. So what is the takeaway for anyone reading this? If you are married and want to stay married, compromise. Do not back down. There is a difference.
I ask myself what is the root of this? Why did she feel what she felt? Why did she feel talked down to when from my perspective was clearly not the intent? Was it the way I said it? The words used? Was it because she just happened to be sitting when I was standing when I said it and literally was being talked to from a lower position? To understand the human mind is fascinating. To understand the female mind is another thing all together. I don’t know if I will ever not be a student in that endeavor.
I have known you for years. In that time I have enjoyed every day, every experience and every time our souls collide. I feel guilty however, because I am also a little jealous.
Jealous of those firsts that were had and shared with someone else. Your first lots of things. Your first kiss, your first exhilaration doing something exciting, your first sexual experience, the first time you gave birth. These are things that didn’t involve me. And for that I am a little green eyed. His loss is my gain. But these are times that will never ever happen again in your lifetime.
So about that, there is nothing I can do. What can I do? We can make our own firsts. We had our first time together. Our first childbirth. Our first and second child lost. First home. Our first new car purchased. This was the first time graduating college. First time ever meeting Mickey Mouse. First grandson.
So even though I wasn’t your first love, I believe I was your best love and I still am.
The task was to write a poem, a segment or a paragraph that was about love.
This is it. This is what he is resigned to. He is left to live a life of pining for a woman that he is married to and has loved for twenty two years. All the time she wants nothing to do with him. He has not forgotten his promise to Him. He promised to “Love” her. This is all his God asked him to do. He has done it every day of those twenty two years without fail. This the first thing on his mind when he wakes and the last thing that crosses his mind before he closes his eyes.